Friday, August 19, 2005

This is the platform of Britain's Monster Raving Looney political party, which has stood at every General election since 1960's...
  • Refusing to sign up to the euro, but inviting the rest of Europe to join the pound.
  • Drivers can go straight over a roundabout when there's no traffic coming "to make driving through Milton Keynes more fun".
  • Traffic cops "too stupid" for normal police work to be retrained as vicars.
  • Withdrawal of MPs' expenses allowance, and the money "in future be distributed to the poor and needy so that they can waste it instead."
  • Any MP whose constituency sells off a school playing field for development will be required to relinquish their own back garden as a replacement sports facility for the school.
    All highways to become massive cycle tracks instead (even the Green Party has never dared go so far on an environmental pledge)
  • All speed cameras will be abolished and replaced by a new device fitted to cars which will automatically slow down to the speed limit when driven though an infra-red beam.
  • Introduction of a 99p coin to save on change.

Their point is that their policies are no more absurd than anyone else's. Maybe they are right! My personal favourite was that we should "get rid of the environment, it's too big and difficult to keep clean!"

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