Saturday, October 06, 2007

The 10 Things that Get Me Riled

I have been quiet. People have noticed. I am sorry. Hope to get back on track. I have been quietly fuming about ten things. Here they are:

1. Airport Security - last week I was at the airport at 0500, don't ask me why. There were just six passengers, but over 25 security guards. They are so ignorant that I was able to walk on with a ceramic and very sharp knife but they were very suspicious of my Sony e-Book reader. I just don't get it.

2. The Modern Terror - Cyclists! I am talking about the ignorant, law breaking cyclists who ride on sidewalks. Not only is this illegal in Edmonton, it is very dangerous. Who do these people think they are? Its time to go to war against these modern terrorists.

3. Spandex - speaking of cyclists, who gave middle aged men and flabby people permission to wear tight spandex as part of the campaign of poor dressing?

4. Britney Spears - or, more accurately, the press covering her. Poor woman, as if she is not disturbed enough - we don't need to know!

5. The Traffic Guy on CBC Edmonton Radio (PM) - don't know who he is, but his voice sounds like he is sitting on a large cone shaped object - its strained, quirky and well down right annoying. Worse, they have started asking him to do longer pieces, as if it wasn't enough to inflict pain on us with his traffic reports. Take him off the air before his hernia bursts! (Peter Brown, the host of the Radio Active show, is, however, excellent - largely because he is so unpredictable).

6. Canadian Thinking About Soldiers- We have a mission in Afghanistan right now and its a tough one. Many Canadians think our troops should not be put in harms way. If this is the case, we should have an army of social workers not trained fighters. Since we began working in Afghanistan we have lost 71 fine soldiers and 1 diplomat. A small price to pay for a larger mission. We lost 67,000 in the first world war. Imagine if each had been treated to the kind of publicity (which would have been well deserved) that we give each death now. Soldiers fight. They aim to kill. This is part of what they do. Get used to it.

7. Jack Layton - is he pompous or what? I know he is short, but he doesn't need to be a jerk all of the time - or does he? My father used to complain about people like Jack - he'd look at them, listen to them and say to me "don't trust him lad, his arse is too near the ground".

8. The Portuguese Police - I have some slight connection to Portugal. My daughter in law is of Portuguese descent and I regularly drink a glass of port. I also like the look of the country. But the police investigation of the Madeline McCann kidnapping and likely murder strikes me as largely incompetent. I look at the parents and just want to reach out and hug them. I look at the Portuguese policeman who was in charge of the investigation (now fired) and want to hit him.

9. Fitness Posers - I am back at the YMCA playing squash and such like, but having to cope with the men and women who are there for other reasons. Such posers - I am sure some are stuffing tissues where they don't belong.

10. George W Bush - 43rd President of the US. In the world of technology there is a law known as Moore's law. It is basically that the capacity of a memory chip in a computer doubles every eighteen months. It also applies to such things as chip speed. In politics I would like to propose Murgatroyd's law. It is this: The IQ required to destroy the planet falls by 1 point each month. Bush said that other day that Madella was dead. Nelson Madella called him to thank him for thinking about his father.

Notice I haven't mentioned Oprah. The poor lady. Its time she quit. She is showing us more and more of her naivetee and ignorance with every show. Nor I have mentioned the dreadful films I have seen recently - like Oceans 13. I am just warming up for the blogging season.

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