Friday, October 06, 2006


Following the shooting of Amish children at a school in the US – one of a series of shootings at schools in the US – there is a serious conversation about arming teachers. That is, giving teachers guns. This is being proposed by Representative Frank Lasee (no relation to the dog) of Wisconsin. He notes that this is the case in Israel – a place where terrorists attack with some frequency.

When I went to school in Britain, my teachers were armed. They each had leather straps with which they used to beat us whenever we broke some rule which they had just made up. One teacher refused to carry this weapon, he used a large ruler instead. Another used a pair of serving spoons which he hit us on the head with.

Arming teachers may help improve reading and literacy skills. I’d quickly learn to read if I had a gun to my head. A couple of discharges into the ceiling and I’d memorize Proust.

Think what a twelve gauge shotgun could do for mathematics or an Ouzi for science. The possibilities are endless.

Such a good idea, Frank. I think I’ll offer to sponsor the guns at my local kindergarten.

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